THE DARK KNIGHT RISES : Pacific Fallout

It took a Down-Under Common-Wealth English-Speaking Brit to screw up Gotham but good.

The trailer of this Dark Knight installment features a flying nuclear car and that was enough to drive the crazed crazy in this post-Fukushima Pacific Fallout world that the laptop literate live in, but the ocean-travelling desert dweller Director Noland, it seems, was aiming his billion-dollar-a-babylonian-bing franchise squarely at the worst comic book ever written: a graphic novel!

Nuclear Batman spawned by perverted Joker might not have had such a violently negative reception if it didn't represent the ninja talents of the greatest actor of the British-speaking world: Christian Bale!

And the last thing people want to see is life imitating the last generation of art!

But I've said too much. Noland's Dark Superman D.C. universe is in peril and the last thing I want to see stolen is an idea after having to remember that some Eurasian South African named Blomkamp scalped the self-destruction navigational concept from The Light Speed Documentary to the Damon of Matthew to provide Elysium with a third act!

Which is why the movie industry reprojected Batman Vs. Superman for May 2016.

21.

The Dark Knight Rises is a cautionary tale with a Nuclear Bomb without Japan, explaining its extreme worldwide popularity in Imperial Cuniform.

It does a good job delivering a Cat Woman and reimagining the Columbian Muscle-lord Bane as another anarchic Brit that would rather wreck the world than take a rain-check to use his mystical romance language to push crime rather than the Bible's end.

But more than its believe-it-or-not sepia-toned billion dollar box-office, it sets the tone for D.C.'s animated take-over of HBO with The Dark Knight Returns continued rip-off of the worst graphic-novel of all time, AKA 'Nuclear Batman,' AKA, 'Superman Vs. Batman.'

The ending sucks; there are mutants without superpowers; the only premise in the story at every step of the way is that we are dead!

So remember everyone: dying isn't optional!

Keep the faith; this Bruce Wayne tried even though this Dark Knight is a deeply sandy, radioactive, televised water-sport beneath anything that stands for the District of Columbia and far behind anything as scientific as the Big Bang.