EXPENDABLES 2 : Conventional Microwaves

Not even the most expensive movie in the history of TV movie blockbusters, Clear History, (Or Rumor Has It 2) can touch the equal opportunity employment motivational pizazz of Expendables 2.

Yes, Larry David continues to redefine damage control after decades of Woody Allen intolerance, but, at the end of the day, Larry really kills nobody.

Not so with Expendables 2. These heroes don't use bombs and they're not above wrecking others with their personal property to prove it.

These heroes believe in conventional warfare and the first-strike capabilities of detterence and definitely definitely speak English as a second language as well as they speak English as a first language.

But Expendables 2 is more than a blockbuster -it's a carefully constructed Atombomb of movie – it's a performance art movie – and totally fit for the mute, subtitled censorship of bar and gym TV screens everywhere since it features – more than anything else – forced nonchallance and the greatest performance artists of performed nonchallance in the microwave era.

Which means, through its awkwardness, it would be a great replacement for most of network news programming, commemorating the death of honor and the beginning of lies in the industry of lies – first strike conventional warfare.

So yeah, Expendables 2 represents the death kneel of the cult classic as the full-on Hollywood protest flick and really marks the first time Americans have ridiculed the vanity of speech-acts in the mobile nuclear era since Denzel Washington screwed everyone in the Meg Ryan classic, 'Courage Under Fire.'

Why do you think Dolph Lundgren gets a laugh?

Perhaps no other piece of performance art has captured the overall borishness of the self-publishing age. We live in a post-karate world where the foot to the face needs Scott Adkins and a knife and a diet to really impress anyone anymore now that Mixed Martial Arts has proven that grapling rules.

Simon West masterfully delivers... performance art... as a blockbuster... that is cult... to the globe... as a message... to the stars... that insures a continuation of what will surely be known as the cult American franchise of the past in the future!

Revenge is personal and if people think that hard men are bad for spreading evil to live in the world, they might consider that they are the energy crisis they claim to be fighting by taking anything before the lives of those green revolutionaries of the Nukes that spread this pronoun fusion in politics, microwarves, Fukushimakon!