Friday, April 30, 2010

IRON MAN 2 : Vulkan


'Welcome back to the Stark Expo - everything is achievable through technology - better living - leaving more time from life's activities...' Yes, 'life is activity.' Especially if amounting to nothing is a personal profit margin shared with nobody. In which case, thank you Russian Technical Education, you should be marked for very personal death. Or obvious body snatching. 'We believe in you Iron Man?' 'God Bless America and God Bless Iron Man?' COME ON!

Frickin' Jesus H. Christ could only muster water skis. Tony Stark invents new elements and straight up flies and the Suit of Steel needs community ego stroking by a living personality cult?

I get it, 'tears of the cyborg,' totally sounds like a deploying ballistic calamity. IF YOU VOTE FOR ROBOTS! Let's face it, Chemistry Failure is so Superman and therefore Batman. Iron Man's only existential crisis is a shooting-script. Maybe Tony Stark can't multitask paint job but not even the Stone Masons can confuse Iron Man! Except, perhaps, the families alcoholic. But Tony Stark drinks to attract sleepless enemies from commandeering time zones outside of the San Andreas Faultline of course! He's a superhero! 

"Anthony Stark possesses a sword of untold possibilities and he insists it's a shield." Yes, Iron Man 2 is replete with stumpy writing. If there is an Anti Empire Strikes Back, Iron Man 2 is it. Superman 3 it is not. Even though Nick Fury does't punch anybody out, celebrating a birthday is superhero for drunk. So what if Jimmy Buffet still lives in stereo, so what? Hermeneutic perfection is an engineer with a night job: "My bond is with the people; you can count on me to pleasure myself," is a campaign promise for the working folk who know ACDC to be in the spirit of Jimi. Anyone who donates millions of dollars of inane modern art to the Boy Scouts of America to dwarf is pro progress. 'Yes we can,' is the supreme technocrat who knows not to, 'Say windfarm - it gives me gas,' because nothing is impossible and everything takes time, which is why the evil competition proports, 'As revolutionary as this technology is, there will always be a place for man in the theater of war,' for me to target! Destruction, is not so much a scientific exercise as a mixed metaphor: 'let's just focus on arming it... make god bleed; people will cease to believe... and the sharks will come.' 

Iron Man may be scared of the likes of Mickey Rourke and his escapades but in the end he doesn't have the time to dialogue with the great aquatic and that's why we wait for Iron Man 3. Because Mickey is a worldly and interesting supervillian and Tony Stark still pretends to be Robert Downy Jr. so he killed his latest co-star.


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