ROBIN HOOD : For Love Of Waldeir

Robert the Loxsly is son of Waldeir Loxsly and husband to Marion of Loxsly and has gone waring never to return. When a man, poacher, scout, archer, and carnie recovers the sword of the dying Robert and the crown of the seizing Ricard, he, Robin Longstrider, must return the French objects to their English mits. He is not knave, and knows he will never get paid for walling with the dead king, Ricard the Lionhearted, long live the king. A mere mercenary would have made for the first band of rich people with the crown but Robin is English and knows a crown may only get him fartherthings.

Meanwhile, London's in peril, a French King plans to leave France to Ricard the seizer, because he has learned from experience that, '[He] can take London with an army of cooks.' So he's planning to ally his cooks with the British cooks who collect taxes and speak passible French, like Mark Strong (Godfrei). Mark Strong likens English to a gate he may speak and has much moxy. Such is the world of men into which Robin was abandoned; they all know Little. Kevin Durand plays the Little John with his famous staff.

Sir Ridley Scott recreates another wonderful baddie in the King John of England who doesn't even seem to know Little. This king takes credit for everything: 'I broke [mama's] skin more she did mine.' He believes the role of government is to encourage criminality by stealing private gains. Which is why the English are known to say, 'The King is dead, long live the King!' He can take a ribbing. So wise men in England like Friar Tuck keep wonderful things like bees: 'I keep them and they keep me.' Friar Tuck must make happy drunks who will only steal from themselves in this Dark Age.

Waldeir the Loxsly is blind. He cannot keep the crown from stealing English seeds to plant French crops even though such behavior will clearly lead to a French cook crusade. But Robin does with his band buzzed Merry Men. Robin plays a catchy defender of bridges. 'None shall pass,' is line that will board many in England. Waldeir teaches Robin that he can learn to carve stone but first he must learn to carve paper since he has already learned to carve people. Sir Godfrei the French rascal kills Waldeir Loxsly as the sacking of London commences with the sacking of Northerly villages. The greatly motivated Robin faces the scared King John and makes him promise to promise to stop over taxing. So the Northern English come to rescue the Southern English from the French Marines. John is so happy everything worked out that he decides to redouble his efforts and make Robin the permanent outlaw Robin Hood to force him to spend all his days carving wood.