Friday, December 30, 2016

AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON: You're Playing Yourself

Yes, this column is not perfect. Yes. It is most unwise and makes a mockery of either stuff that is for children or of itself by failing in its singular mission. Please to notice that making a mockery of kids’ stuff is not the problem. In and of itself it is tireless, tireless work. Evidently, not so with the Avengers!

Sure, does Age of Ultron or Avengers Two, yet another comic book movie with titular issues involving a colon, deliver? Absolutely. Thor is very Thor. Robert Downey Jr. plays a piano, so, you know, he is Tony. Everyone’s great. The whole cast sings and whoever thinks he’s directing a comic book of a script does a good job keeping the whole story with stories moving.

But honestly, is there a 4th act? Is there? Steve Rodgers we learn in the erstwhile 4th act is the super soldier who can rip apart choppable wood with his bare hands. So he can keep an Iridium or Admantium huge robot who chops off limbs if only by mistake, he can keep it busy with just a fist fight, because he’s a super boner?

Granted. Cary Granted that Chris Evans is huge. But please. This director sucks. He even made it look believable, and I’m supposed to take it with a grain of salt because the robot expressed remorse over hacking off a limp on accident and is a robot with issues? Please. THEY'RE ANGER ISSUES!

So, in closing, the robot wants to use the Avengers to drop a city-sized meteor and maybe that’s why, which is a loserish, loserish robot and does that seem realistic? NO.

So despite cool lines making anyone political look deep into themselves, you’re playing yourselves Marvel and you played the boxoffice passing this off as a Billion Dollar movie! No. Justice League: Batman versus Superman is not even in the same hemisphere.

B+/A- which is like an 89.5 in English. So try next time in English.

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