PREDATORS : Ein Rasa

The 2010 South Africa World Cup Show Case celebrated the great deltas of the Atlantic - Uruguay, Holland, Germany, and Spain to give Spain it's first victory in the world melting cup. Congratulations to the Peninsula Europa. Congratulations to the Romanced English and his green game of cushy fouldball.

On the whole, it may be said the USA doth protest too much for a nation that believes in employing flying androids to reign airborne destruction on the peoples of the dessert. They must become familiar with the concept of manual overdrive until they attain the art of fouldball, meaning, and Mexico. Yes. Mexico knows, like Muslims, that there is only one race. Some call it 'peace,' some call it 'slim pickings,' and yet most simply call it, 'Ein Rasa;' unfortunately, Robert Rodigruez calls it Predators.

Director Nimrod Antal obviously did decide that change was beautiful and pretended not to cast Carol Weathers. Whereas 'Predator' includes at least three USA Governors, 'Predators' does not seem to employ any. The movie is less thrilling than a gym membership coupon. Adrian Brody, going from scariest North-American ever to most bored box office ever in less than a month, leads a pedestrian lot of killers trying to prove that life is a free fall. Perhaps for his next trick the New Yorker will speaking Spanish. Shane Black had more, bigger muscles than Antal's whole platoon of plot scavengers and far more sweat than Antal's entired smokeless, sweatless, R.J. Reynolds forest. Which is not the Hungarian's fault. Nothing's the Hungarian's fault. There's only one 'Ein Rasa.' Wait till this one comes out in 3D DVD and then ridicule the box for nothing.

P.S.

While we did notice the tremendous Lawrence Fishburne who shows up to playact magnificently, proving that flattery does indeed get one everywhere, the rest of the flabby actors forget to placate and pander, thinking that cool is the hard currency; thus, the writing's bored, boring, and pretentious rather than writhing. Unfortunately it's not even worth going to see it to hear, 'We run - we die!' because not a single US governor - like Carl Weathers - yells it; instead, it's monotuned.

All I can say is once Dolph Lundgren leaped invisibly from tree to tree devouring his enemy, and now Tim Curry lumbers because it hurts more. 

P.P.S. Unfortunately, it's not worth the price of admission to see Topher Grace as a scuzzy psycho doctor get killed even though it might sure be worth imagining how Eddy Brock has all ready beheaded Topher for besmirching his likeness.