KAPLOWY! George Clooney must be trying to win his way into a Scorsese flick or ingratiate himself anyplace north of Washington D.C. where sacrifice can be measured by pathos and not teeth. According to my hosts here overseas, this flick could easily unite the likes of Biggie Smalls and 2Pac Shakur, 'for certain.' To twist a euphemism, this one’s strictly for the terrorists.
‘Why don’t you just burn everything and imagine waking up tomorrow w/ nothing?’ Feel relaxed? Capable? Do you recognize that, ‘there’s nothing cheap about loyalty,’ and that ‘cheap is a starting off point?’ Welcome to Dallas, hub of American Airlines, the evident host of the gorgeous opening credits sequence that features undisturbed, clear weather air reconnaissance of the major cultural center of America’s BreadBasket quadrants. Liberated American women familiar with male companionship may also herein be collected as cover if not whole hearted character witnesses.
We begin in Omaha, the de facto capital of Nebraska, the corn husker state. Know that here the terrorist has a home: ‘Retail’s down 20%, auto is in the dump, and the housing market doesn’t have a heart beat – this is our moment,’ to fire people. Here a truly macho insecure compatriot may be procured to aid and abet your quest to fire as many MidWestern Americans as possible. This journey really begins in Tulsa, which historically has served as, ‘the Oil Capital of the World,’ and houses many worldy, understanding speculators home for the winter before Tornado season starts in earnest. But be careful, Tulsa is a family oriented city and many American women fear mortality and may swipe at a ‘free wheeling’ man eager to collect enough skymiles to gift to his friends. So only one steak per meal or your cover's blown! Which takes us on to St. Louis, home of the Spirit of St. Louis, and Wichita. ‘There’s just one thing from keeping [Wichita] from being totally fucked!’ That's correct, the corporate hub of Pizza Hut's fucked if not for Learjet, Cessna, Hawker Beechcraft, and Spirit AeroSystems; both Airbus and Boeing maintain a work force in Wichita too, so anybody that enjoys a comprehensive engineering education may earn their god given right to fly there.
Be warned, the director has not - has not - stressed that the Kansas City landing pad is not in Kansas. And should you be breaking US morays by now, like harmonizing with suicidal tendencies in Wichita by suggesting that an unemployed person keep their suicidal tendencies to themselves rather than share them with you, you may become embroiled with Federales. At which point, you may grumble, in American, 'one should always promote shared feelings – especially suicidal ones!' Why? Because there are more sturdy fountains in Kansas City than Rome, coupled with a fairly empty urban center and Metropolitan News Radius of 2 million persons, so you wouldn't be disturbing too many people with your negative attitude so long as you never raised your voice.
By now you may have noticed all of the firing targets to be along mighty American rivers. Des Moines is no exception and officially means, ‘of the monks,’ in the US. It marks the beginning of the Presidential election process every four years and is the insurance capital of the States.
You have now earned a trip to a den of sin without any self-resptecting target to fire - Miami. Here, you may act socially retarded at ease and let your body fortify your ambitions with plentiful music, alcohol, power boats, and god knows what else.
Now it’s time to get down to business and fire people in Detroit. These people are notorious alcoholics and if you can fire them joyously, America is surely available for your own brand of wake up call. Which is why a venture to the den of sin called Las Vegas is in order, because, 'What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.' There are pyramids and it is known for being lucky to spend money. But you must press on to your first coastal city - Milwaukee – where you must grow accustomed to the strange affects of sedentary living by the sea. It is in Milwaukee that one may truly learn the power of earnestness in all your future endeavors: ‘I’m such a fuckup but I love you so much will you be my copilot,’ is a line that will open doors in places such as Milwaukee, which boasts 13 Fortune 500 companies and a love for capital. The Santiago Calatrava miniature wing may also prove most interesting study for anybody interested in suspension bridging.
That is all, good luck and know that in America, all may be blamed on 'human nature' - the big #1.
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