I think about the future. I think about getting there with grace. I think about myself in a state of grace. I think about myself as Cary Grant. So when in the cinema last weekend, alone, I almost yelled, yelled, mind you, 'Where are the young, little vampires and why can't we see them projecting away now?' But I didn't, I, amazed whispered it. I, like countless around me, just recently had the mystical experience of being spared death in a three dimensional context by a savage beast and was still in a state of shock and possibly humanism. Therefore I expected the blockbuster after Quentin Taratino's Hamlet Rewritten to clearly state the meaning of life. I expected the hard questions of 'Black or White?' 'Pirate or Ninja?' 'Robot or Wizard?' to melt away forever before the splendor of the Avatar. I expected Mr. Cameron to publicly scrap the lame cadences of mumming that attempt to bisect Yin/Yang for periods of time longer than any concept of context whatsoever. 'Cyborg or Alien?!' FOR WHAT?! UPRIGHT BBQING?! FIGHTING RENEGADE 'ANGELS' WITH BALLISTIC WEAPONRY! DESIGNING AND CONSTRUCTING CROWD CONTROL KILLING MACHINES?! GOD CAN SCI-FI AT LEAST START WITH A HUMAN TIME & PLACE & REDEEMING EXPERIMENT AND MAKE SENSE FROM THERE WHILE REPORTING THE ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS OF A STORY?!
YOU AREN'T EVEN ADVERTISING NATURE ANYMORE CAMERON!
The experiment in Avatar seems to be the patenting of individual consciousness in a world where a cryogenically frozen professional soldier who is shuttled 5 LIGHT YEARS through interstellar space can still be economically undeserving of the costly surgery to regain control of his legs. Many 'actual' (militantly over paid) critiques have complained over the stupidity of the writing. Obviously this is stupid! It doesn't serve you or I: that's the point. Cameron projects incorporated state policies of late in order to criticize war to posit the beginning of the end of humanity! Kinda like 'Running Man.' Yes, there are many stupidities present in this narrative. Giovanni Rabisi's character calls the native precious metal 'unobtanium.' Some actual critiques criticized the name for the special substance as 'stupid,' but haven't pointed out other character stupidities like calling the Na'vi 'blue monkeys,' when they're obviously 'cat people,' or attempting the genocide of a population of aliens whether or not they can shoot arrows straight into hurricane force winds; for that matter, strip mining in the age of Light Speed is pretty stupid. While positing the question, 'Cyborg or Alien,' in the linear experience of time as a species may be stupid, Cameron's writing is quite realistic. Many live in the stupid world of their bosses constantly trying to cut costs while increasingly vacation time for themselves. As our hero Sigourney Weaver asks of the audience, the question, 'What's wrong with this picture,' is much more empowering in rating Avatar's Time-Capsuleness than the beauty of the picture of a rain forest itself.
So young little vampires, let's stop the cannibalism all together now. Neither cyborg nor alien shall yield y'all fruit. No more should I have to admit the existence of sucking persons who consider 'jungle' to equal that metaphor that excuses their own cannibalism. No more should documentarians mistake their cameras for mirror shooting machine guns and their subjects for the natural foliage of astronomical budgets the size of NASA for I have heard of videographers stating that their shooting 'script' was capturing their subject, 'prove their worth,' as if they themselves were worthless and yet the authors of said university founded indigenous behavior. Persons of this nature that ignore the prime directive in this day and age are nothing but war mongers who believe a privatized war could be apolitical. Is your play social or antisocial? Sustainable or Forgettable? Classy or haughty? Informed or babish? If of the former, then please declare yourself an intergalactic planetary marine, if not - go home to practice mining as digging and then practice building as stacking blocks so as to drop the art of absentee civilian entirely... or just go off bleeding with hungry sharks before lobbying Public Programming for a job for James Cameron as a director on a show like Nature or Discovery because I want to learn more about how good boy scouts defeat bad marines.
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